Saturday, May 8, 2010

At this time last year!

At this time last year, I was in a hospital room with my buggy.
At this time last year I was sad because I had to come home
and go to a meeting with my Dad.
At this time last year My buggy was laying in a bed
full of drugs with acid (chemo) running into his body.
At this time last year, I had some thing I don't have today.
At this time last year I fought for my brothers life,
It is not easy to watch your brother do that and
we dreamed for the day he would be cancer free,
But how I wish for those days of fighting for him
even when all he would do is cry from the pain
and pass out in a second because he hurt so bad.
How I wish we had him back to love to hold.
Had I knew he was going to go to heaven how many thing would I had done different.
I was thinking the other day, you know what?
I don't think most of the time we realize what we have until its gone.
I washed the car yesterday and I thought
what would I have given to have Silas well
and have been able to do that last year.
But I would not trade any thing for what I did last year for my brother.
I have to say I really am grateful that I stayed with him in the hospital all those months.
But I have to say God made those months good months when he got doing very well
and like I've heard off some kids who never even got to come out of the hospital after they got diagnosed,
they lived the next 6 month in a hospital.
God is good and even though we don't understand
what he does sometimes or why
I know it all ends up the in the better end for us.
Well, there are some things that we did last year
that made it special one.
It may sound silly to you, but it's special to me.
Last year while he was in surgery to biopsy the tumor,
I ate lunch with Bro.Buddy & Mrs.Chris at Wendy's.
So, Friday, the seventh, my mom, Mrs.Chris,
and I ate Wendy's for lunch
when Buggy would have been in surgery one year ago.
There is going to be the saying "At this time last year" a lot this year ..........

1 comment:

  1. Paige,

    You were a great help and a great sister to your brother, Silas. I wish he were here too, but rather we know it or not; God is always in control and does everything for a reason. I know it may be hard at times, but just stick in there! Miss yall guys ツ

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